My Heart in Medjugorje                                                                page 3
The next refreshing day came with the rooster’s crowing and the breakfast was so great!!! Our hostess was so humble and wonderful!! We went to 10:00am mass and when I received Jesus during communion, I just started crying and crying. After mass, I kept crying and I had to get out of the church because the Italians were next to hear mass and they were known to push their way in! Many people came to console me but they didn’t know I was feeling so much love from the Lord!!! They didn’t understand but those were tears of an overwhelming love!!!

That night I went to confession!!! I was crying again!!! There were tons of people standing out waiting to go to confession in so many different languages. I never saw the likes of this anywhere.

One of the ladies who went with us went only to accompany her mother. She wanted to get out of Medjugorje and see the sights. She couldn’t see herself praying and doing “nothing” for 8 days. She was the first one to go to confession with me. She said she didn’t know why but she wanted to go for some strange reason. I was standing in line for this English priest and another jovial American priest said to her, “Come over here, I am hearing confessions!!!” He was so great to her and I believe Our Lady had her hand in this!!! She confessed and cried and cried!!! She hadn’t been to confession in 10 years!!! She was beaming when she finished. After that, she experienced the heart of conversion in Medjugorje. Our Blessed Mother definitely has her plan for us even when we have our own. She calls all of Her children.

That night we were invited to a public apparition of Our Lady with Ivan’s prayer group on Apparition Hill. It was quite a trek but a beautiful setting as the sun went down as we crossed through the fields. We climbed up the mountain - it was so dark. There were guitars playing “Let the fire fall” and other praise songs. I just cried for joy because Our Lady had brought me back to where I was when I sang that song many years ago as a one on- fire Catholic youth. It was quiet when Ivan arrived. We prayed the rosary on our knees. Suddenly it was very quiet. I knew She was appearing because I could feel her with my heart. Tears of joy flowed down my face and I said, “Mother, Mama, I am here!! I made it!!!” I prayed and prayed. I had petitions in my backpack and water to be blessed. I felt as if I could fly. So much peace that you can only know as a peace “beyond all understanding”. I describe it as a piece of heaven.

We all went down that rugged mountain slowly, all 1,000 of us around 11:00pm. No one got hurt coming down and everyone helped each other down. It was so serene!!

The next morning we were up to go up the hill of apparitions to see it in the day. I got up early that day to go but a rash-like redness was all over my legs. It must have come from kneeling down in the dirt since I wore Capri pants. So I didn’t go and put some medicine on it. Then I prayed near the risen Christ (the huge iron statue blessed by Pope John Paul II) and went in the chapel. I just wanted to be in prayer with Our Lord. That was not like me because I am the worst morning person in this world and normally I would have just gone to sleep. I walked around praying my rosary in utter peace. It was as if I was walking on air.

One day I went to see Fr. Jozo Zovko at the monastery about an hour or so out of Medjugorje. His talk was inspiring but the church was so hot. We had a lot to fight, including lack of sleep, to hear him. Finally he prayed over some priests and they in turn prayed over us. Before the priest got to me, some 2 people down, my heart started pounding a mile a minute. I felt weak and I thought, “ I hope someone is close because I could rest in the spirit at any moment.” When he prayed over me I started crying and I felt limp and I tilted forward. He pushed me back gently and then had to hold me up because I was leaning back and the pews were behind me. I said, “Thank you Father,” and looked for the pew to sit down because I was so limp. I sat down and just cried and cried. An Irish lady came over to me. I had my head in my hands in my lap, I don’t know what God was doing but I was wailing. It was beautiful. She said, “Is the Lord blessin’ ya?” with her Irish accent. I said, “Yes!” and she hugged me.

I kept crying and crying and pretty soon one of the persons in my group said to me, “We’re going!!” I looked up and there was hardly anyone in the church. I didn’t know that the people had left!!!! To tell you the truth, I didn’t want to leave the church. I could have died a happy death there, right there!!

On the way home I was totally quiet. I was basking in His love. I didn’t want to talk to anyone really. I was too in love with Our Lord to speak. A woman asked me, “Are you okay?” I said, “Yeah, just fine!” and wanted to be quiet. It reminded me of the questions of my co-workers just a year before!!

The next couple of days I got up at 5am to pray!!! I couldn’t help it!! I went up Cross Mountain. I thought I’d never make it. I wanted the others to go ahead and not wait on an over-weight, out-of-shape woman. They were patient but I didn’t want to burden them. As I was heavily panting towards the 10th station I stopped and this wonderful lady from Australia said softly, “Take your time, Our Lord waits for you at the cross!” I felt like crying (as usual for Medjugorje)!! I made it to the huge cross and prayed. I could see for miles. I left my family there at the base of the cross!!! I climbed it for their conversion!!!

Coming down I had to go slow and realized that if we don’t keep our eyes on those jagged rocks I could fall, just like in the spiritual life. We need to keep our eyes on Him or we’ll fall, as I had fallen so many years ago. I was always so mad at myself for having fell from grace 12 years earlier!!! But He is faithful!!

I went to the exposition of the Blessed Sacrament and Benediction on the Thursday night before we would leave the following Saturday. The Church at St. James was completely packed!!! There were people in the aisles. I knelt down in one aisle so I could see. The lights were focused on the monstrance and the music was so beautiful, with the violin.

I just sat in awe. I was so drawn to Jesus there!!! Peace, so much peace!!!! I just wanted to die and go to purgatory!!!! I can’t describe it but it was so, so peaceful. I didn’t want to leave…how beautiful!!!
Needless to say, Saturday came too early!!! I didn’t want to come home at all but only just to see my daughter!!! I mean it was so eaceful, peaceful, peaceful!!!
I want to go back tomorrow!!! I have to wait until March though and this time I will bring my little angel of 7 years.
It’s funny, people have asked me, since I have been back, if I saw the sun spin or dance or witness any physical healings. I smile and confess, yeah, I did look at the sun but didn’t see it dance. I noticed how beautiful it was. It didn’t witness any physical healings either. You know what I did experience was the Father’s love for me and He established His Paternal love and a protection and showed me I didn’t have to do it all on my own anymore. He is my provider, He is my peace!!! My heart did dance to His love and my heart was healed through all the tears and is continually being healed. That to me is the heart of Medjugorje. Our Lady brought me to Jesus and then to the Father so I could know His love for me and just get a glimpse of His heart for me. I would surely die if I were to try to contain all His love. In Medjugorje that would be okay.

And to think over all this time passed. It all started with a traffic ticket!!!! That was a funny and clever way for God to start and continue the process of conversion and healing in my life. Our Lady had so much in store for me in Medjugorje. That’s why I can’t wait to see what is next now and when I go. I want to take as many people as She is calling, including all my family. Is She calling you? Do you hear her voice? What is holding you back?

Don’t doubt Her call!! It’s really Our Lady Queen of Peace calling. Prayerfully consider coming with me on March 5-12, 2005 with Fr. Jose Delgado too!! I look forward to meeting you and seeing what transformation and healing Our Lady wants to bestow upon us!!! Mary Queen of Peace, pray for us!!

What does Our Lady have in store for all She calls? She beckons to everyone. Come to Medjugorje! A place of complete surrender and peace. Please heed Her call so you can experience the Heart of Medjugorje!!!

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